Michael's Clarity

Might As Well Fall In

2011-11-09T18:11:00.000-05:00

I don't believe that I have ever posted a music video on here. However, there is an exception to every rule. When I made this page I made it to seek clarity on things that were going on with me & ones close to me. In doing so I thought that it would help myself, those close, & hopefully my readers as well.

In that same spirit--I post this video. It's one that is very basic in lyrical premise but immensely deep in soulful approach to...well listen & see.

Clear your mind...press play

James Blake - The Wilhelm Scream

Directed by Alexander Brown

Production company - Davey Inc.

Busy Signal

2011-10-11T00:52:00.000-04:00

Rare these days that you call someone & they actually have a “busy signal”. With technology where it is these days your call will either go to voicemail so you can leave a message--or it will simply ring under the “call waiting” feature.

People on the other hand seem to use the “busy signal” often when it comes to expression & the dreaded “one step to far within their emotionally charged personal bubble” conversations. I have heard many times that people push you away to see how much you care to come back. Or due to their past it is hard to open up. You know--I get that. I really do.

When is it enough though? How many times must someone prove that they care? How long will the past haunt you?

Trying to answer these questions for someone else would be as difficult to near impossible as trying to measure the pain of people who’s family died in the holocaust or slavery. Especially since some people even now tend to “overlook” that these events happened or are even conversation worthy. Measuring another’s pain just can’t be done.

My true question is at what point do the people that are willing to be open in spite of their fears, past situations/disappointments/loss of family members/loss of loved ones/etc…at what point do the people that are willing to not only brave the fire of stepping within your bubble but brave the insecurity of allowing you to step within theirs…at what point has it been “long enough”? At what point has it been “too much effort”? At what point do they dial another number that may not always have a “busy signal”?

Listen More Closely

2011-09-28T22:19:00.001-04:00

If you never have before please listen to ‘Windmills of your mind’ by Sting (from ‘The Thomas Crown Affair’ soundtrack). It brings clarity to things that would otherwise be lost if you just become “STILL” & really listen to it. I mean listen to it the way that people listen to a doctor in the most dire situations in an emergency room.

Listening to what is being said while listening to what is perceived to be said is a gift from God given to us. Why not use it?!

The communication that we have with God is not able to be heard by all. However, it is understood by all that are willing to believe…that are willing to have faith. Faith & belief in something greater. Something more. Something powerful. Something great. I have never known anything that is bigger than what I can imagine in my mind like I have known the Lord. The only thing I can draw a comparison to with regards to faith & belief is “air”. You can’t see, feel, smell, or physically hear air but it fills your lungs just like that cup of Pumpkin Spice Latte that you got this morning filled your stomach.

The Lord fills my soul to the brim of my cup. It over flows due to his/her love. I give a lot yet like giving money to a homeless person--it is never enough to do the jester justice. I love my life. I often wish I was immortal. (laughing) But I once loved a man (my grandfather) more than my own life. I wrote him a letter & gave it to him in hospice stating that I would give him all of my strength & all of my life if he wanted to take it & live longer.

In that instance I had but a fraction of a fraction of what Jesus did for us. He gave his life for OUR sins…for us…all of us. I can’t fathom what that was like. I can’t dream to have that courage. Yet I love him for it every day of my life.

Blessings…

(dedicated to @spreadingJOY from twitter...she made me post this. haha)

Roads Not Taken

2011-09-09T12:57:00.001-04:00

As with all things that have an "evolutionary path" there was a time of development prior to reaching enlightenment. I USED TO identify with the following excerpt by 'Hank Moody' (played by David Duchovny on 'Californication') being said to his boss's wife that just made a pass at him.

That’s my purgatory, really -- dinner, drinks, whatever. Never really all that interested, but I find myself telling her how beautiful she is anyway. Because it’s true -- all women are in one way or another. You know, there’s always something about every damn one of you -- there’s a smile, a curve, a secret. You ladies really are the most amazing creatures. My life’s work. But then there’s the morning after, the hangover and the realization that I’m not quite as available as I thought I was the night before. And she’s gone, and I’m haunted by yet another road not taken.

Had a conversation with a friend about something very similar to this. Made me think of this excerpt & want to share it with you on our journey to clarity.

A truism that I have found is that resolving all past situations, not fearing the future, & being an active willing participant in the present will allow you to open up to a significant other...among other things that is. haha But I find that those steps are systemically connected to all of the "other things" needed to become emotionally & spiritually naked with your mate. Not simply physically naked...

The Idea Of "You"

2011-09-01T22:04:00.000-04:00

Like watching a row of dominos falling in reverse the hairs on my forearm begin to stand up. With the slight shiver of a new born without their blanket my right arm moves. I start to hear Gregory Hines tap dancing an advanced shuffle toe combination outside. He is getting closer. The steps are getting louder & more pronounced. The beat is heavy now. Could it be in here some where. I begin looking around with the paranoia of a man on the run. I can’t see anything…I can’t see anyone.

Where is this coming from? I soon realize that its coming from my chest. It was my heart racing not tap dancing. What just happened?

Then it hits me like a tsunami…it all started when I thought about you.

Prelude To Our First Kiss

2011-08-28T13:19:00.001-04:00

Pitch black darkness…eyes closed to light & yet her face just inches away…just a breathe away is seen with perfect recognition. Her lips slowly coming together while calling me close. I am in a warm trance-like state. My movements are not my own. Trembling with eager anticipation of the sweet & sensual taste of romantic ambrosia seeping from her satin lips; I inch closer. Now her passionate energy is felt throughout me like blood coursing through my veins.

This one grain of sand from time drops with the speed of a feather floating in the windless air. This prelude to the book of ecstasy written with our lips & proofread by our souls will determine just how good the book itself will be. This prelude is all I need to know about her. For within it’s pages lies a true connection so great it contains more information than the internet.

If only I had a worthy muse who would become my eternal muse to my heart. I wonder who will end up writing this with me one day...

Remembering Love

2011-05-21T16:17:00.003-04:00

Cavernous yet hollow shadows replace the area that was once filled with an inexhaustible light. A place that was so warm in all senses of the word that to wear metaphorical masks, shielded armor around your heart, or even clothing on the skin seemed excessive. For this was a place of pure & undeniable comfort. A place of not only warm climate but of an emotional warmth. The kind of warmth that comes with being held tightly by your mate both in a moment of sorrow & in a moment of uncontainable joy. The type of warmth that Cynthia Ozick tried to bestow onto Magda’s shawl in various humanistic transformations in ‘The Shawl’. The type of warmth that trickles throughout your body at the moment of arousal. The type of warmth that comes with knowing without any reservations whatsoever that you are loved infinitely.

That type of warmth comes from the light of your soul that is reflected in another. That type of warmth comes from the light which undresses your mind, body & soul…emotionally naked…physically naked…spiritually naked.

The inexhaustible light…of love.

Hidden Truth

2011-03-10T17:56:00.004-05:00

When people look out at the world they must be able to see through other people’s eyes. There is a humility in allowing yourself to truly view the world through another. In certain situations it maybe the only way for you to see things as they really are.

Much like glass our own eyes can become clouded and dirty. Thus making our view of the world & others distorted and/or blind us all together. Seeing the truth of the situation is hard (sometimes impossible) if we aren’t able to take the perspective of others.

When Muted Voices Become Audible

2010-11-22T14:58:00.013-05:00

"The stage is in darkness. Harsh music is heard as dim blue lights come up. One after another, seven women run onto the stage from each of the exits. They all freeze in postures of distress."

The beginning of the book/collection of poems, 'For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Is Enuf' begins strangling your attention with the literary illustration of the opening scene (quoted above). However, as the reader begins to realize this initial scene, this entrance from exits, this run into frozen distress, this metaphorical & perpetual cycle is truly the backdrop for this night blooming cactus of poetic personal widely shared accounts.

"...this must be the spook house
another song with no singers
lyrics/ no voices
& interrupted solos
unseen performances

are we ghouls?
children of horror?
the joke?

don't tell nobody don't tell a soul
are we animals? have we gone crazy?

i can't hear anythin
but maddening screams
& the soft strains of death
& you promised me...
somebody/ anybody
sing a black girl's song
bring her out
to know herself
to know you
but sing her rhythms
carin/ struggle/ hard times
sing her song of life
she's been dead so long
closed in silence so long
she doesn't know the sound
of her own voice
her infinite beauty

she's half-notes scattered
without rhythm...
(lady in brown, 1. 11-40)

Scattered half-notes...half-notes. Half-notes...why half-notes? That is what I kept asking myself over & over. Was it because the half-note is hollow? Couldn't be because the whole-note itself is hollow. Was it because it is simply 1/2 of being complete? Perhaps. However, what I always thought was special about the whole-note is that it stands alone. It doesn't need any stems, tails, bridges, or what have you. It stands alone...complete...whole. Then I said, "Mike, your over thinking this."

I then realized that I wasn't over thinking it--I was under thinking it. The half-note isn't so much a metaphor for the women/girls. It is the disconnect of song that is the women/girls themselves. Rather their emotions, bottled up desires, individuality, & souls that have become so lost...so muted...so buried within that they are as indecipherable as "half-notes scattered without rhythm".

The irony behind that thought that I had was that the same things that have become indecipherable has in some way mutated. Taking on a form of a cold & dark personal prison with no hope of parole...an inescapable bedfellow of madness. To add to this personal purgatory this prison has sound proof unbreakable glass for walls. Unbreakable glass walls used by others outside to serve as cognitive dissonance. Unbreakable glass walls in which they can look in with judging eyes. Unbreakable glass walls in which they can laugh without fear of reproach. Sound proof unbreakable walls in which cries & pleas can not be heard...rending either pointless attempts.

Whilst focusing on everyone with a condemning eye or a scornful laugh she can not see the ones trying to open the door to this personal purgatory. For there are people out there that want to help--even if unseen.

All this time due to all that she has been through she has forgotten that there is even a door.

All this time due to all that she has been through she has forgotten that door is locked from the inside.

She may have been thrown into this prison. But out of the kind of hurt & pain that makes a person lose their ability to speak; she found comfort in the solitude. Comfort in the fact that she could not be hurt directly anymore. No one could touch her true self. She locked the door from the inside...

The key to the door is voice of her soul...lost, muted, buried & indecipherable.

HOW CAN WE FIND IT, TURN UP THE VOLUME, UNEARTH IT, & UNLOCK IT'S BEAUTY? HOW CAN WE MAKE MUTED VOICES BECOME AUDIBLE?!?!

Part I of my thoughts on this excellent collection of poems...collection of souls has ended with the aforementioned question...do you have an answer? Can you even see the need for an answer? Let me know...maybe we'll find one together. Thank you for listening to my thoughts...

-M

Inches matter

2010-06-01T18:41:00.009-04:00

Sitting hear watching 'Any Given Sunday' the movie inspired me to once again remind myself "inches matter"! It was Al Pacino's halftime speech at the end of the movie in particular that moved me.

Here is a portion of it: "...you know when you get old in life things get taken from you. That's, that's part of life. But, you only learn that when you start losing stuff. You find out that life is just a game of inches...The inches we need are everywhere around us. They are in every break of the game, every minute, every second. We CLAW with our finger nails for that inch. Cause we know when we add up all those inches that's going to make the f'n difference between WINNING and LOSING between LIVING and DYING."

The reason that it moved me so much at first wasn't because of my own motives or drive. It was in thinking about my grandmother and her motives and drive. She will be 89 years old this month (thank God for blessing us with these many years with her) and at times I sense that she questions her value. Now if you knew my grandmother you would know that she has the get up and go of a 50 year old woman. She doesn't spend one day solely being in the house. She drives herself everywhere (if it can be reached without going on the expressway) she needs to go. However, she is being assisted more and more by the family as her memory is deteriorating.

At times she expresses that she thinks that she is "in the way" or that she "doesn't matter". Now she doesn't say this to anyone other than confiding in me. As we have always had a special relationship, she is extremely candid with me. I do everything I can to ensure that she feels wanted, needed, and loved. As does my mom and other family members. However, at the end of the day how they feel about themselves is up to that person.

Even so, if you knew it was within your power to help someone feel better about themselves and their place in the world...why wouldn't you do it?!?! I think that all over the world there are people that are newborn babies all the way to people that are 100+ years of age that question their value/place in the world.

If you truly love the people in your life, claw for that inch with them!

Make them feel like they aren't "in the way"; make sure that they know that "they matter"; make sure that they know that they are loved; and most of all make sure that they know that they are LIVING!

*image courtesy of www.pixmac.com

Wise Words on "Cycle Of Good" via Russell Simmons

2010-05-24T22:55:00.007-04:00

The video by Bruce Lee (one of my favorite videos) in one of my prior blogs was very well received. I appreciate the kind messages (via twitter) and emails saying so. Since so many liked it, I thought it appropriate to share another one of my favorite videos.

This one comes from a mentor of mentors who is also a constant student, Russell Simmons. Now I know that the message won't be absorbed for direct meaning by most. However, it is my hope as it is with everything that I post that you take just enough from it to better yourselves in some manner. After all the goal of this blog is to help attain greater clarity in life.

Thank you for taking the time to visit and for being open to new ideas. I hope you can take something from this video. I know I have...

Thanks go to Russell Simmons for taking the time to help spread awareness of self & ways to better achieve it.

Credit for the video goes to the Transcendental Meditation Channel on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/meditationchannel

For more information on Transcendental Meditation you can go to: http://www.tm.org

Intuition

2010-05-23T15:36:00.008-04:00

Isn't it interesting that reflexes act as quickly as a lightning bolt? Anyone that has had a "physical" done in their lives has had the "knee jerk" test (also called "deep tendon reflex (DTR)") administered to them to determine if all the parts of that pathway way are functioning correctly. I am do for my next physical and it made me think about the connection between reflexes & instincts. What separates the two words? One is an involuntary & nearly instantaneous movement in response to a stimulus. The other is an inherent inclination toward a particular behavior. I found it interesting that our bodies will automatically respond to things & our minds alone will not outwardly.

Made me wonder how my day would go if I treated my instincts like reflexes. Ergo, if I had an urge to take a different route while driving for an inexplicable reason, I would do it. Or if I randomly felt like I should call someone because they were going through something. Now that I am saying it like this it makes me think of the later part of a movie I saw not that long ago; 'Yes Man'.

'Yes Man' takes Jim Carrey through a journey to get to the point that I am making...our instincts are their for a reason, just like our reflexes are. It is by trusting our instincts and reflexes that we can become one with our true selves. I'm not saying that you should always go with every single instinct you have. But rather at the very least vest more in what your instincts are telling you.

Next time that lightning bolt goes off in your mind urging you to do something...ask yourself why not? How many times have your instincts told you to do something & you didn't only to regret it later? Start to turn your instincts into intuition!

Photo is credited to: http://www.noupe.com/photography

"Be Water" -Bruce Lee (An Inspired Clip)

2010-05-16T11:32:00.004-04:00

I pulled in the power and wisdom of Bruce Lee yesterday. It really allowed me to focus on the tasks at hand and peak when others were going flat. I believe that this is something that everyone can learn from...

Grow Through Your Surroundings

2010-04-22T13:37:00.007-04:00

It seems that the more that I live the more that I learn. Life is so short. In order to learn the most that you can we must learn from everything. Not just our own life, but the lives of others.

Oral tradition was the only way to pass knowledge and history way back when. What is oral tradition but a collection of stories/experiences told from one person to another? Really reminds me of a memory/team building exercise I did when I was younger. Most people have done it. It’s called “telephone”.

In “telephone” there is a group of people sitting next to one another. One person creates a story and then whispers it to the person next to them. That person in turn tells the person next to them and so on until the last person has the story told to them. The more people you have the more the story seems to change. Each person that told the story has left a piece of themselves within the story. Forever altering it’s original context.

Isn’t that what learning from others is all about? Each shared interaction with someone else leaves with us (however minute) a piece of them forever altering us. How much effort does it really take to absorb more & learn more from each interaction? Now there will be good and bad things that we can learn from each other. :) The key is to take in what you need to grow.

For example, I saw an elderly couple once and watched how they interacted with each other for a couple minutes. It was almost unbelievable how the slightest unspoken gesture from one impacted the other so immensely. I thought to myself, “this is true love...true companionship”. To connect on such a level wherein your hearts are bound so tightly that they speak to each other effortlessly.

In those two minutes I learned a bit more about difference between transcendent love and being in love. I don’t believe that you can “create” transcendent love like you can: being in love, being in lust, or just being fond of someone. I believe that it is something that is born of divine doing. Now part of that is the willingness to accept it in when it comes. As for how to see and know it when it comes...I’ll leave that for another time. :)

The point is that we have so many learning/growth opportunities that surround us on a second by second time frame. How much time do you spend out of your day simply “going through the motions” without trying to take in what you have available around you to experience?

The more that you experience the more that you grow!

I hope you have taken something positive from this interaction with me and my story. Thank you for listening!

Wielding Your Own Mind

2010-04-19T19:25:00.004-04:00

The mind is the most astonishing & powerful possession that one can hope to wield. How many of us can’t truly claim to have full knowledge of something that we have lived with for our entire lives? What feats have we as a human race yet to conceive for this very reason?

In the quest for self-actualization one is met with many mental & spiritual roadblocks. Unlike any other quest, these are self-imposed barriers to our becoming a complete person. Often times these barriers are seemingly invisible to us. Others are well within our visual cortex and very tangible.

What are we actively doing to get past the barriers that we are aware of? To learn from them and grow better for them. Not to let them confine our minds, hearts, & souls to a level of existence that would ultimately restrict our happiness.

I had a brief conversation earlier about this very subject. From the constant journey of self-actualization to the mental/spiritual/emotional investment necessary for this apex of self-improvement. I always find it interesting to dialog with others on many topics. “Self-Actualization” can be a “heavy subject matter” to tackle. However, I think that it is one that everyone can benefit from.

What do you think? Comments are most welcome...

Ocean of our souls

2009-12-20T11:40:00.003-05:00

Drip...drop...drip...drop

Small droplets begin to build into a tiny puddle at the floor of an infinite canyon.

Tick...tock...tick...tock

Time brings with it precipitation that has increased gradually into a heavy rain. Rain that carries with it the anvil of poignant thoughts. Water (colored as if it were by a prism) ever so slowly begins to trickle down from the freshly opened sky unto the mentally fortified dam. A dam that holds a most precious ocean.

Each individual molecule of H20 represents a universe of emotional content. Each universe French Mathematician, Blaise Pascal said that:

“The least movement is of importance to all nature. The entire ocean is affected by a pebble.”

If each microscopic part of rain contains the deepest depths of emotions harvested from the bottom of your soul--what would your ocean contain? How would all of the seconds that fill your days like pebbles fill the ocean floor effect your waters? How are all of your actions effecting the oceans of others?

Drip...drop...drip...drop

How will this pebble that I have cast into your ocean effect your waters?

Tick...tock...tick...tock

Pure Passion

2009-09-05T17:08:00.010-04:00

Recently a friend asked me to read her blog on 'Passion'. As she is a very talented author and I like the subject, I jumped at the chance. Even further motivating was the chance of winning a chapter from her new book.

Well, I was one of two winners for my 'comment'/'response' to her moving call to action on passion. Thought I would share what I wrote on passion's intrinsic value/meaning to me...

Here is what I wrote in response to her blog:

Perfectly infinite vulnerable & completely secure moment in time...

when you first begin your sonic like decent down the peak of a rollercoaster

when you first begin to feel love for the first time

when you first begin to shed the masks that people often wear--allowing yourself to be 100% vulnerable to another & feel 100% secure...

That is to become truly passionate with another. Expressing pure passion in becoming EMOTIONALLY NAKED! To connect on a level that exceeds physical plains and extends to the ends of the greatest universe...your soul. Passion output of this type of experience could power the world for years.

100% Vunerable & 100% Secure...two emotionally naked souls cultivating each other's wonders in a Perfectly infinite moment in time...Pure Passion!
——————————————

My friend's blog, 'OFFICIAL BLOG OF AUTHOR JO LYNNE VALERIE, PASSION AFFICIONADO' can be found at this link: http://bit.ly/ItVIu

The blog I am referring to is 'In Search of Passion'. Check it out...makes you think & sparks a fire of a remembering and/or longing for passion...

Older than 25...Younger than 30...Going on 50...Remembering 21...Hoping for 100 years

2009-07-12T21:12:00.005-04:00

Plant any old seed without care and will it grow strong? Over water a seed and will it grow strong? Love, nurish & cultivate a seed--watch it mold into a solid oak tree! Abraham Lincoln once said, "Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing."

Throughout the years trees have been met with everything from deforestation to outright vandalism. 'The trees weren't as important as to get rid of the shadows they cast'...paraphrasing a familiar scapegoat in the destruction of so many historic, culturally relevant, and passionately inspired trees. How preciously sacred are skyscraper high, beautiful, strong heritage having trees before they become ominous to groups and groups of people?

Older than 25...younger than 30...going on 50...remembering 21...hoping for 100 years of loving, nurishing & cultivating my seed...

Now I will begin to let the sun shine so brightly and illuminate my tree that no shadow can be seen--for enjoying that of the tree!

Welcome to my blog!

COMING SOON!!!

2009-07-12T07:21:00.002-04:00

MY FIRST BLOG IS COMING VERY SOON!! FOR AN UPDATE ON EXACT TIMING FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER! THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT!!
www.twitter.com/mikedinc